Sarah Rees Brennan (sarahtales) wrote,
Sarah Rees Brennan

2009 Television I Watched!

So as the year draws to a close, I thought I might talk about the television I have watched during it, and hear about other people's television. I have noticed that my year's viewing has a common theme - one of my favourite themes. Sensible Girls, and the Romantic Boys Who Love Them.

One thing I watched was the second season of Merlin. I have written up my thoughts on season one Merlin here.


ARTHUR: My new contract states I must be shirtless at least once an episode.
GWEN: Now I am going to be a love interest, I am looking extremely foxy in several new gowns. I am never shirtless, because this is the BBC.
MERLIN: Nobody fed me over the summer, and I am feeling weak.
MORGANA: Nobody gave me any lines for the upcoming season, and I am feeling evil.

ARTHUR'S FACEBOOK STATUS: I am in love, love, LOVE! But it is a tragically doomed secret.
GWEN'S FACEBOOK STATUS: It's complicated...

MERLIN: I would like to talk about feelings.
ARTHUR: Please Merlin, we are trying to establish the Once and Future England here! Can't we just hit each other?
MERLIN: But do you like-like Gwen?
ARTHUR: I can't talk about it. I'm very manly. But - so long as that is understood-
ARTHUR: Omigod she is so pretty and her hair is so shiny and I love her and I want to get married!
MERLIN: Omigod the wedding ceremony would be so beautiful.
ARTHUR: Love is so beautiful!
MERLIN: I am sure she will wait FOREVER! With no assurance that you, a prince, was dallying with a simple servant girl. That never happens.

LANCELOT: So are you seeing anyone?
GWEN: No, nobody who did not specifically tell me there was no possibility of a future.
LANCELOT: Well, since I am the only dude you know who has indicated possible long-term interest and you are all alone in the world longing for love with your daddy dead and your best friend going evil-
GWEN: Yes?
LANCELOT: I think I'm gonna leave you for your own good! Without asking what you want!
GWEN: All knights are bastards.

UTHER, aka KING GILES: My witch-burning ways cause literally all the trouble in Camelot. I am a genocidal lunatic, though I do love my baby boy. Why does nobody kill me?
MORGANA: Dude, I'm trying, it's hard on only point five minutes of screen time per episode.
KING GILES: Perhaps if I tongue kiss a dung-eating troll I will be spared for the comedy value?

ARTHUR: We are pretty much BFFs, Y/N?
MERLIN: Y! Can I get a hug?
ARTHUR: No. Fist-bump.
MERLIN: One-armed hug?
ARTHUR: You drive a hard bargain. Shoulder thump!
MERLIN: Okay. Um, excuse me, I have to do some very secret magic out in the open in front of witnesses.
ARTHUR: I can't hear you, I'm deaf in one ear, permanently and conveniently unconscious, asleep and coincidentally looking in another direction. All at once!

ARTHUR: I am the beauty enchanted in his sleep.
GWEN: I must valiantly lay on some true love's kiss!
ARTHUR: I dip you! Romantically!
GWEN: It is only sensible to find being dipped by a golden-haired fairytale prince SUPER AWESOME.

MORGANA: I have no lines! I have no storylines! I'm going evil RIGHT THIS SECOND.
MERLIN: Actually, two years of lying through my back teeth and secretly murdering all of Arthur's enemies has made me kind of morally dodgy myself. Delicious cup of hemlock?

FINALE: Despite some really interesting set-up, is all about Merlin and his father figures. Again.
DRAGON: In the tradition of all mentors, one day you will realise you do not need me. Because I am burning down your city and killing all your friends.
MERLIN: Yoda never breathed FIRE.

Since I am devoted to L.J. Smith, who at sixteen was my Twilight, I was certain to watch The Vampire Diaries. I saw the pilot at Comic Con, and was hugely delighted to see that the hero and heroine wrote their sad, sad diaries sadly in sync.

Then I saw more, and I have been most excellently pleased by it!

STEFAN: I am an angsty vampire in high school and I LOVE YOU.
ELENA: You're a what did you say? Oh my God, leave immediately.
STEFAN: No, no, no, wait! I have a sad backstory to tell you.
ELENA: That was a truly touching backstory. Now please leave.
STEFAN: ... Wut?
ELENA: Dating vampires is likely to be dangerous and problematic and you aren't the number one priority in my life.
STEFAN: This decision makes me sad! But I respect it.

DAMON: Whoo hoo I am a crazy vampire crazy crazy stalking people killing people teasing my baby brother whoo hoo crazy! Maybe I'll betray your secret to everyone Stefan!
STEFAN: Well, okay.
DAMON: I'm going to date Elena's friends and show up at gatherings for now, but any minute, baby - evil time!
STEFAN: Do whatever you want, just don't hurt innocent people. Oh no, Damon, you just killed someone. This is so mortifying. Do you have no idea how to behave in company?
DAMON: I didn't mean it. Don't be mad for keeps!
STEFAN: Were you brought up in a barn? A KILLING BARN?

STEFAN: Damon I have something terrible to tell you about our mutual ex-girlfriend Katherine.
DAMON: Okay, dude.
STEFAN: You remember how she dated both of us and drank our blood and made us undead and tried to persuade us to have an awful immortal incestuous threesome forever and it was the worst break-up ever?
DAMON: Oh Stefan, you're so innocent. Why I remember a relationship I had with a nun, a coil of liquorice and a feisty goat-
DAMON: *coughs* Please go on.
STEFAN: None of it was real! She was mind-controlling us the whole time!
DAMON: No, she was just brainwashing you. I was cool with everything.
DAMON: Hello, crazy and evil. Evil and crazy!

CAROLINE: I am a vain blonde cheerleader who recognises that not being the protagonist really sucks.
BONNIE: I am Elena's best friend who can set things on fire with her mind.
DAMON: Ladies, ladies...
BONNIE: What a lovely vampire. I do like them flammable.

My flatmates and I bought the box set of Bones and watched it together, drinking cups of hot chocolate with ice-cream in them.

SARAH: I dunno. I love Partners Who Fight Crime an awful lot, but I'm just not sure I can take FBI Agent Angel.
DR BRENNAN: I am a lady who would rather poke around in human soup with bones floating in it than think about her feelings! Also I enjoy casual relationships and am bad at being charming.
FBI AGENT ANGEL: I am pretty good at being charming, and I am in touch with my feelings. I am not as smart as you but I am totally comfortable with not being a crazy genius!
DR BRENNAN AND FBI AGENT ANGEL: Together we goofily fight crime.
SARAH: The truest loves are found through goofily fighting crime. NEXT BOX SET PLEASE.

In summary, I love Sensible Girls and the Romantic Boys Who Love Them. I also love things that are kind of ridiculous. What kind of thing do you love?
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