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February Cookie

'Tis the ninth, and that means it is cookie time! And it is Alan's turn to have a cookie of his very own.

Alan dropped his bow at her feet.

“I’ve got to go,” he said, his voice tight.

“What?” Sin asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Alan snapped, and turned on his heel. Sin noticed that he was not heading for his car.

She might not know Alan well enough to recognize when he was lying. Probably nobody knew him well enough for that.

But she could always recognize a bad performance. And Alan was excellent at pretending everything was all right: if he was turning in a bad performance, then something was really wrong.

Sin intended to find out what.

She couldn’t think of what she wanted first, though. Toby and Lydie came first. She ran over to Jonas and asked him to watch the kids for a minute, bring them to Trish if she was gone too long, make sure they were fed. Toby was playing with a tiny bow and looked happy, so she didn’t disturb him, but she stopped and hugged Lydie and told her she was just going to ask Alan if he would like to stay for dinner, after all.

Then and only then was she allowed to run, and she ran, sure and fleet, legs carrying her in easy motion over the fields in the direction Alan had gone. There were a few fences in her way: she ran at them, sometimes clearing them, sometimes hooking a foot in them and launching herself over them without breaking stride. She knew where she was going and what she was doing. Chasing Alan was easy.

Catching up with Alan was hard, because she had no plan of action for what to do when she drew level with him as he limped determinedly along another fence.

He whirled on her, face very pale, and demanded: “What do you want?”

“What did you think you were doing, running off like that?” Sin asked. “You should’ve known I’d come after you.”

Alan’s mouth twisted. “And of course, I can’t outrun you.”

“Nobody can outrun me,” said Sin.

It was just the truth. But it seemed to knock Alan back a little. He almost smiled, and ran one hand roughly through his hair. It made his hair stand up on end, a glinting riot of curls.

“Cynthia,” Alan said. “Trust me, you don’t want to be here. Will you just go?”

“Trust you?” Sin echoed. “Aren’t you, like, a compulsive liar? No, I think I’m going to stay right here.”

She illustrated her point by perching herself on the fence.

Alan almost smiled again, but insisted: “You really don’t want to-”

He’d been pale before, but now he went grey, his face locked in a spasm of pain. He gritted his teeth for a moment, lips skinned back, grimacing helplessly, and then he fell face forward on the grass.

Sin scrambled off the fence and onto her knees.

“Alan,” she said. “Oh my God, Alan-”

He could not answer, that much was clear. He was moaning into the grass, but they didn’t sound like conscious moans. They sounded like the long guttural cries of an animal in agony.

Sin manhandled him onto his back, careless of his leg, too desperate to be careful of anything. He screamed once when she was doing it, but she was a dancer and that meant never hesitating once you were committed to a course of action.

When she had his head in her lap, she realized that she’d trapped herself there, but it wasn’t like she could have abandoned Alan while he had some sort of fit. She couldn’t leave him, not like this, not all alone. So she couldn’t get help.

All she could do was watch his body seizing with what seemed like hundreds of separate convulsions, shaking with another rush of pain before the first had completely passed, face turning away from her even as she stroked his hair. The terrible moaning sound seemed to be ripped right from his chest after a while. It went on and on, helpless and exhausted.

She thought it would never end, and then it did. The sky was grey with evening, and Alan’s skin looked ashen as the fading light. His body was still shuddering a little with the aftershocks of pain, but the terrible strained tautness had finally gone out of it.

He blinked up at her. His glasses had gone crooked and he looked a little confused.


“What,” Sin said, “the hell was that?”

I hope you enjoyed. :)


( 81 comments — Leave a comment )
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Feb. 10th, 2011 06:57 am (UTC)
You caught and corrected it before I could even comment!

I shall read in the morning... must must must go to sleep now, though.
Feb. 10th, 2011 07:42 pm (UTC)
8D Sin promises to be extremely awesome. I like how different her POV sounds, it seems closer to Nick than to Mae, but very different to both. It's also always enjoyable to read about action!heroines.

But one question... do I just have a REALLY bad memory and Alan's leg was switched back after it was healed (in Covenant), does he limp under stress, did it go back some time before this cookie? I'm confused.
(no subject) - sarahtales - Feb. 10th, 2011 09:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 10th, 2011 07:03 am (UTC)
OMG OMG OMG. Oh my god!

I love the way she told him no one could keep up with her, and the way he took it, even if she didn't mean it that way, and his hair.


I loved that line about her being a dancer.



Feb. 10th, 2011 07:11 am (UTC)
Worry about Alan is entirely justified at this point. ;)
(no subject) - lettered - Feb. 10th, 2011 09:10 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - azurelunatic - Feb. 10th, 2011 07:37 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lettered - Feb. 10th, 2011 09:12 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - sarahtales - Feb. 11th, 2011 12:26 am (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 10th, 2011 07:03 am (UTC)
Feb. 10th, 2011 07:03 am (UTC)
Sin, can I just be you yet?
(no subject) - sarahtales - Feb. 10th, 2011 07:15 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kayefierch - Feb. 10th, 2011 07:21 am (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 10th, 2011 07:06 am (UTC)
The Magnificent
Zetta Awesome~

Go Allen. My poor baby...
Feb. 10th, 2011 07:06 am (UTC)
Oh my sweet mittens Alan. Look at your life, look at your choices. I'm worried for him! Sin on the other hand is a responsible bad ass as always. Thank you for the cookie!
Feb. 10th, 2011 07:08 am (UTC)

Really, there is no emoticon to express my level of distress at this cookie.
Feb. 10th, 2011 07:13 am (UTC)
I loved reading from Sin's POV, and how we see another side of Alan. <3
Feb. 10th, 2011 07:38 am (UTC)
Oh Alan! Oh Sin!
Feb. 10th, 2011 07:51 am (UTC)
*gobbles up cookie*


Oh Alan! I am glad that Sin was there to witness it but not glad that I in turn had to read it because now I just want to feed him soup and get him a warm blanket and can't because I have to get ready for work.
Feb. 10th, 2011 08:41 am (UTC)

I've had some kinds of fits -- not quite as serious as Alan's of course, but scary to onlookers. The LAST thing I would want in that situation would be somebody trying to cradle my head in their lap or stroke my hair or whatever. The ONLY think I want in those situations is to be alone and out of sight, so that nobody worries or asks questions or does something stupid like call 911. People trying to talk to me or engage me in conversation or pay attention to me only makes it worse. Without outside intervention, it usually passes on its own.

I know Sin was just trying to be nice, but I totally identify with Alan's point of view here. :-(

Good thing Alan's no longer a "traitor" outcast at the Market, though. I'm glad he's been accepted. He needs friends.

Oh, Sarah, if you kill Alan I will be heartbroken and will feel very betrayed. I think all the characters deserve happy endings, as much as possible. I would hate that loving a demon-brother and being altruistic would mean you have to die. :-(

I think about Demon's Covenant a lot: "Nick would rage and rage, and Alan would lie and lie, and neither of them would leave." That basically reflects how I feel about a lot of things -- no matter how painful a situation is, sometimes leaving it feels unthinkable.
Feb. 10th, 2011 04:44 pm (UTC)
Re: Beezhhh
I'm sorry to hear about said fits, and I hope people respect your wishes and act the way you want them to. What people want in these situations varies greatly: in Alan's case I imagine he'd greatly appreciate the physical comfort (he's not offered such things a lot) but he's trying to cover up the fact he has them, and is actually too out of it to register same.

As regards happy endings, well, deserving them doesn't mean you get them, though it would be nice!
Re: Beezhhh - (Anonymous) - Feb. 10th, 2011 10:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 10th, 2011 09:07 am (UTC)
Love this, especially Sin eliciting Alan's almost-smiles and the ending. Short and very enticing!
Feb. 10th, 2011 11:55 am (UTC)
Oh, Alan.

If you kill him, I may never forgive you.

I knew that there was a reason that I wasn't supposed to be reading the cookies, just patiently pacing up and down and waiting for the release.

Love this, love Sin, love Alan. But am positively dying of worry now. The release date cannot get here soon enough.
Feb. 10th, 2011 12:05 pm (UTC)
Team Sin/Alan forever!!

LOVE it! I'm so excited! Are we Sinning yet?!
Feb. 10th, 2011 12:09 pm (UTC)
Oh. June can't come quickly enough.
Feb. 10th, 2011 12:48 pm (UTC)
Yaaaaaaaaaay, you remembered your fans all the way from your sunny retreat in Mexico! (Jealous. So jealous.)

Well, you've managed to make me a little more sympathetic to everyone's favourite compulsive liar. Oh Alan. I do want to like you, I do. But you make it so hard to trust you...

When she had his head in her lap, she realized that she’d trapped herself there...

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( 81 comments — Leave a comment )


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