Let me present some Star Wars, a last parody from a galaxy far away! As in this movie there seemed confusion whether Kylo Ren was shortened to Kylo or Ren, I’m going to split the difference and refer to Han Solo and Princess Leia’s evil son by Ben, his Past and Future name, throughout. Let it be known I have no personal strong pairings aside from John Boyega/Screentime, but nor do I dislike any ships!
STAR WARS: 2 dudes in a dark and stormy wood… and both of them were evil…
PALPATINE: muahaha evil has rendered me all powerful.
BEN: yikes, my guy, your face is all rotting, also your fingers have rotted clean off. Not to zombie shame, but ew.
PALPATINE: I have transcended death and have a vast evil army!
BEN: but like… at what cost?
PALPATINE: I died before…
BEN: do you wanna clarify that?
PALPATINE: the dark side does not clarify
If you liked this parody, I am very happy! I don’t have a tip jar, but I do have a new Chilling Adventures of Sabrina book out, in which demon princes are fought and satanic hotties are taught about mortal dating customs.